My husband recently messaged me with a link to a blog post he had read. When I saw the title, I felt my eyes start to roll. TEN TYPES OF MOMS THAT SUCK! Sigh. I had a feeling this post was going to piss me off.
And I was right. The types of moms listed were not “Moms Who are Abusive” or “Moms Who Abandon Their Kids.” Nope, this list included things like “Organic-Only Moms” and “Moms Who Always Look Perfect.” I don’t think my poor husband was ready for the angry message I fired back.
Really? Are we still doing this? Are we STILL tearing down other women who aren’t like us? I know I talk about it all the time, but I get so tired of posts like this. It’s not funny. It’s not encouraging. It’s tearing down other women to get page views.
I’ll be 100% honest with you. I’ve had these thoughts before, especially in my early motherhood days. I’ve looked at other moms and thought mean, judgmental things. “Oh, I hate moms like that.” Know why I had those feelings? Because I saw other moms excelling in areas that I was insecure about in my own life. The problem wasn’t other moms; the problem was me.
As I’ve grown as a mother, I’ve learned that we all have areas where we kick butt, and we all have areas where we struggle. Yep, beautifully-dressed moms make me feel insecure about my yoga pants. And you all-natural moms bring out a little shame when I let my son have Cheetos. But I’ve had other moms express regret to me because they work outside the home, or don’t go on as many excursions as we do. None of us are perfect. Tearing each other down to make ourselves feel better for a moment doesn’t really help anyone. It just feeds these ideas of mommy wars, mommy guilt, and “women are bitches.”
My husband pointed out that the last item on the list of TEN TYPES OF MOMS THAT SUCK! (no, I’m not linking to it) is “Hypocrite Moms Who Write About Other Moms on the Internet.” Yeah, I get it. “Hey guys! Totally kidding! No offense, ok? I suck, too!” The problem with this is the author spends several paragraphs tearing down other women, and then tacks a J/K! on the end. That doesn’t negate the nine other insults on the list. Having this item on the list implies that if you’re offended by seeing yourself on this list (a list that implies you’re doing your most important job WRONG), the problem is really that you’re just taking it too personally, because the author was totally just kidding.
If you only feed your kids organic food, if you always look awesome, if you don’t like your kids to hear cursing, if you homeschool, if you don’t let your kids watch television — keep on doing what you’re doing, and don’t apologize to anyone. It’s NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINESS.
And now I am going to sit on my couch, eat a cupcake, and watch television with my awesome kids. Because I am an awesome mom. Just like you.