I had started a post about becoming a food allergy mom, but I had to hit delete and start over. The only thought that has been permeating my mind and heart today is that it is the 4th anniversary of my father’s death. And today I am sad.
Please understand, I have grieved. I have peace about his passing. I am simply sad. I miss him. I wouldn’t wish him back because I know where he’s at is far better. But I wish I could see him again. I wish he could have played with his grandsons. I wish I could give him one more hug.
Dad died suddenly of a heart attack while shoveling snow. His mother died suddenly of a heart attack. His father died of a heart attack. And I’ve inherited his tendency toward high cholesterol. Dad is a big part of the reason that I have committed to making this lifestyle change. Genetics are not on my side. I need to do all I can to keep myself and my heart healthy, because the odds are not in my favor. If my seemingly healthy father could suddenly die of a heart attack, then I could, too. Why add to my risk by living an unhealthy lifestyle?
As I type this with a three-year-old lying across my chest, I think about how I want what Dad didn’t get – I want to meet my grandchildren one day. And while I fully believe that God is sovereign and He appoints the time we leave this earth, I want to do all that I can do to meet that goal. I want to be healthy so I can enjoy my kids. I want to be at my best so I can fully serve others. I want to make the most of the time I have been given.
I am already further than I ever thought I would be. Soda and fast food used to be daily and weekly staples in my life. They aren’t anymore. I walked a 5k over the weekend and I am doing another one next month – with 11 more to come this year. My kids are asking for apples instead of cookies. I even avoided extreme emotional eating today, when in the past I would have gorged myself just for a moment of distraction on this difficult day. I’ve come a long way.
I think Dad would be proud.